A Lance Gross Fiction Story
Written by Trish (@GimmeUnusual)
I sat in the chair near our bed, watching her walk back and forth from the closet to the bed, getting garment after garment, folding it, and placing it hurriedly in the open suitcase. My mind wasn’t reacting fast enough. I had run out of things to say. I sat, pondering the next thing I could say…the right thing to say…the thing that would make her change her mind and stay.
“Serenity…Baby…I know you don’t wanna leave. Why are you doing this?” I pleaded.
“You know why Lance. I have to get out of here,” she said as she bent down and gathered a few pairs of shoes from the closet floor.
“I know I fucked up and I know you deserve so much better, but I promise…on EVERYTHING…on my life that I’ll never hurt you again. Please can we work this out?”
“I can’t trust you Lance,” she said as she stopped packing to look at me. “I’m not going to be one of those women that are constantly snooping through their man’s phone…wondering where you are…who you’re with and what you’re doing with them. I’m not going to do it. I need to be able to trust my man and I don’t trust you anymore.”
“Lance its nothing more to say. It’s too late. I’m done.”
“But Serenity we took vows…until death do us part…7 ye…”
“I could slap you so hard right about now,” she cut me off. “How dare you bring up our vows! Yeah…we did take vows. We took vows to forsake all others and to cling unto one another. You broke that vow and when you did, you might as well have broken them all.”
“Stop calling me Lance. I hate you so much,” she hurtfully said as tears streamed down her face. “I hate you. I hate you. I HATE YOU! You threw us away. You threw away our seven years and I hate you for that.”
“I hate I let you down and I have no reason to ask you to stay, but I am. I was a fool, but just stay anyway. I still see love in your eyes. I’ll do whatever it takes to fix it. Please forgive me, baby please.”
“I can’t forgive you Lance…not today…maybe not ever. I have to go.”
Two Years Later…
It’s been two years since Serenity left me. I’ve tried every day to get her outta my head but she’s so engraved in me…in everything I do…in all that I am. I can’t remember the “me” before her, and I never thought I’d have to. It was always supposed to be “us.” Now I walk around with a silent chest since the beat of my heart has vacated. I didn’t think it would be this hard. It’s been so long since she left and I can’t understand why I’m still broken. Each day I smile, going along with life as though everything is alright. I pretend. Only God and I know that sometimes I still reach for her at night when I’m alone in bed.
We had so many plans. So many broken promises. We never made it to Athens. We never made it to the New Edition concert. We never made it to our 8th year anniversary.
We got married when we were 22 years old and said we’d have a baby when we turned 30. Now I hear that she has a new man and they’re expecting a child. That should’ve been our baby.
The house we built, it’s sold now. When I drove past it I saw a new family living there. They seemed happy.
All I have is a kaleidoscope of poignant memories…every touch…every argument…every wrinkle in her nose when she’d smile…the memories wouldn’t seem to let up. They just kept replaying over and over again in my head. And the one that stung the most…causing me to cry was our wedding day…
Wedding Day Memories…
I stood with my best man drinking a glass of patron. I nodded as he spoke but my focus was no longer with him as he continued on a full conversation. Instead, my eyes were directed at the most beautiful woman in the world. She was wearing a white gown with roching around the bottom, which she held securely in her hands as she danced with her girlfriends. She laughed…not the same way she laughed when I made her laugh, but it was just as sincere. Her breasts filled the beaded, A-line bodice of the dress, almost spilling over. The dress had a plunging back that bared her soft, flawless skin. Every time we would dance I allowed my hands to enjoy her beautiful back, sliding up, down, and across it. I savored every moment of her beauty. I had never seen her look as beautiful as she did on that day. She readied my appetite, making me long for our wedding night. It was sure to be a memorable one. Not because it would’ve been our first time…I knew exactly how she felt, but during the course of our relationship Serenity was conflicted about making love to me outside of marriage so we didn’t do it often. After I proposed, we stopped altogether. She was spiritual, so was I, but we weren’t super religious. We prayed together, we certainly acknowledged God, and we occasionally went to church. She grew up in church, going a few times a week where I only went on special occasions. We met in college so partying and hanging out started to replace church for her but I tried to always remain considerate and respectful. I understood her guilt about sex but I would plead until she’d give in. It always ended the same…she’d lie in my arms after making love to me, very quietly. I’d hope that she would be happy and satisfied, but whenever I’d look into her eyes they would be filled with concern and would water. All that would do is make me feel bad for pressuring her. I’d promise myself (only in my head) that I wouldn’t push for it again, but always at my weakest, I would. She was just the type of woman that you always wanted to be around—the kind that you wanted to be so close to that you couldn’t see where she began and you ended.
We danced to “Endless Love”…how ironic. One of my favorite memories about that day is doing the electric slide to “Candy”…the intensity in her face as she danced was so comical that I couldn’t stop laughing. She had a little bead of sweat over her top lip as she tried to master the, what seemed to me, easy steps but not to her. She elbowed me and fussed, “Stop laughing at me, I almost got it.” By the end of the song she did have it.
Our wedding night was just as passionate as she was. She blushed as we walked into the suite and I sat down on the bed instead of on the sofa where she was headed to. I couldn’t wait to feel her again…it had been 8 months and I was well overdo for some loving. I realized she was nervous and popped open a bottle of champagne. We slow danced in our honeymoon suite. I felt her finally calming under my hold, prompting me to help her out of her wedding gown. She let me get her down to her undergarments but then excused herself to change.
I stripped down to my boxer-briefs and climbed in bed to wait for her. When she finally came out she had on this silky nightgown that flowed so beautifully on her body. The bodice was lace and if you stared hard enough you could see her hardened nipples. My dick got stiff just from admiring her in it. She eased into bed with me and gave me the sweetest kiss. That’s when she finally told me she was nervous because it had been so long. I remembered wanting to put a baby in her that night…but we had a plan. No babies until after we were well-established in our careers–I was in mine and she was going for her masters. She worked, but it wasn’t in the right field yet. Plus we wanted a house and money in the bank.
That night I relished every inch of her body, exploring it simultaneously with both my hands and mouth. She was the quintessence of exquisiteness from head to toe. Every aroma…every taste…and every touch was delectable. For the first time I knew what it felt like to really have her all. She had held back on me the other times we made love. This time her cries were free…she didn’t hesitate in calling my name or screaming out in pleasure. She gave it all to me. She clung to me while she worked her middle, daring to be forceful, “Don’t stop…I’m almost there.” She never gave me orders before…that shit was sexy. And when her body burst all around me, I felt a smile creep across her face before I ever looked directly at her. As she lied in my arms she didn’t lie still or quiet, she drew circles on my chest with her finger before rising up and saying, “Let’s do it again.”
That is my favorite memory of us…but that day also holds the worse. Standing in front of all our family and friends, speaking the handwritten vows that we both prepared…that moment in time haunts me the most. I didn’t live up to my promises. In a moment of weakness I threw away the best thing I ever had. Every day I wonder if she’s happy with her new man and if she’s having a boy or a girl. Every day I still pray for her safety and her happiness.
To get back to some normalcy, I started dating someone new too. She’s a good woman with a good heart, but when I make love to her, she just doesn’t take me there like Serenity used to. So I continue waking up every day, telling myself to just breathe. Sometimes I still cry because I couldn’t make her stay. So I guess I’ll have to continue faking it until I can make it…