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Never Again

Never Again

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012

A Trey Songz Story

Written by Syreeta (@Only1ME_Syreeta)

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“Trey why do you seem like you’re somewhere else tonight?”

 

“I’m sorry baby what did you say?”

 

“I was asking you if you wanted some more to eat?”

 

“Oh nah I’m good…thank you doe.”

 

She was right. My mind was somewhere else. It’s been somewhere else ever since the wedding. The day I sat there and let the one person that meant the most to me rightfully get away.

 

“Trey what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

 

“I’m good baby. Just tired.”

 

“Did you like the food?”

 

“Yeah I loved it. Come over here and sit down for a minute.”

 

Tammy puts the plates down on the coffee table since she was about to head in the kitchen. She sits beside me on the couch. I wrap my arms around her and slide her close.

 

“So baby how was ya day today?”

 

“It was long. All I could think about was seeing you tonight and now you’re here, but you’re not here. What‘s up with you?”

 

“I told you I was just tired.” Then I yawned. “Excuse me baby.”

 

“Well why don’t I clean this up and we go relax in the bedroom?”

 

“I gotta better idea. I’ll clean this up and you go relax in the bed.”

 

“You sure Trey?”

 

“Yeah I got diss…go on and get comfortable. I’ll be in there.”

 

Tammy gets up and goes in the room. I really just wanted a minute to myself to get my mind right. I leaned back with my head resting on a decorative pillow from the couch with my eyes closed. I can’t escape her face. I quickly open my eyes and sit up. I figured I better start cleaning the kitchen like I said I would. Maybe that would take my mind off of her. It didn’t work. As I was standing there washing the dishes it made me think about the time when she came to my hotel room and surprised me with a home cooked meal. She knew I was missing my mumma’s cooking and wanted to make something special for me. She fixed chicken and gravy, mashed potatoes, asparagus spears and cornbread along with some nice homemade lemonade. Her timing was perfect. I was ready to grub too. The thought of her instantly had me smiling. The bad part about it was Tammy walked in and saw it.

 

“What are you over there smiling about?” She walks over and stands behind me putting her hands on my shoulders as she smiles. I couldn’t dare tell her the truth.

 

“What if I said you, and how nice it was for you to do all the things you’ve done for me today.” She kisses my cheek.

 

“I love doing things for you. You work so hard all the time I just want you to do less as possible when I see you.”

 

“Is that why you letting me wash these dishes?” She laughs.

 

“Hey you offered.” Then she smacks my ass and whispers in my ear. “So hurry up. I’m in the room waiting.”

 

Once I was done and walked in there Tammy was laying on top of the covers in nothing but a sexy see through bra and panties set. I grabbed my shit looking at her. Her body was definitely nothing to sleep on. She started moving her hand across the bed like she was smoothing the covers out when she saw me.

 

“You finally ready to join me?”

 

I felt so bad because mentally I wasn’t up to it. I really just wanted to chill and go to sleep. I wasn’t so sure how receptive she was going to be to that. I just got undress leaving my boxers on and got underneath the covers. She automatically did the same and laid her head on my chest. She started running her finger tips across my stomach. That just made me close my eyes and relax even more. The next thing I feel is her lips kissing on my navel and her tongue playing in it.

 

whispers “Ahh Melanieee…”

 

Her head popped up and then mine. I had just realized what I said. Tammy got up and grabbed her robe. I sat up. I couldn’t believe I just did that.

 

“Tammy I’m sorry.”

 

“Now you know my name?”

 

“I really didn’t mean to say that to you. It just slipped out.”

 

“Melanie Trey? When are you going to let her go?”

 

“I have.”

 

“Trey you’re lying to yourself. You just called me Melanie. You still think about her don’t you?”

 

“Trust me it was an honest mistake.”

 

“You can’t even answer me can you?”

 

“What do you expect me to say?”

 

“The truth! Whatever it may be.”

 

I didn’t know what to say to her. I figured I had said enough and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings anymore. She started getting dressed. I knew I fucked up. I got up off the bed and put my pants on.

 

“You’re fine! You don’t have to get dress and see me out.”

 

“I’m not gonna just let you leave and me not walk with you.”

 

“Please Trey. I’d rather you not…shakes head in disbelief… and you’re not even gonna attempt to make me stay. UNBELIEVABLE!”

 

“I didn’t think you would.”

 

“It’s okay Trey. I wouldn’t have, but the effort would of been nice. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you as soon as I get to my car. I just need to go.”

 

Tammy left out and called like she said once she got in the car. I tried to talk to her, but she didn’t want to get into anything further tonight, so I didn’t force it. I asked her was it okay if I called her tomorrow so we could talk and she said that was fine. After we hung up I just laid in the bed thinking. I still couldn’t believe I called her Melanie. It’s been some time now since I’ve even saw or spoke to Melanie. Really the last time I talked to her was at the wedding. I tried to call her to see how things were going, but she got her number changed. After I realized that, I knew I wasn’t gonna get the chance to talk to her again. Tammy doesn’t even remind me of Melanie so for me to call her that it really was just subconsciously. What can I say? I do miss her. I can’t stop thinking about her and wanting to be with her. She’s even in my dreams at night. I just been feeling so lost without her and no matter how hard I try to let her go I can’t.

 

It’s been so hard for me to accept the fact that she’s married now. I wish we had a little more luck with love because she’s a tough act for any woman to follow in my eyes. I mean I’ve met a plethora of nice ladies since our situation ended, but I don’t think anyone can replace Melanie. Tammy’s great, but I don’t see her in my life for the long haul. I enjoy her company and like spending time with her, but it’s still seems like something is missing for me to have a real connection with her. I don’t know what it is.

 

I know she was upset when I called her by the wrong name; as she should be, but I was glad she ain’t flip out on me. As I lay here and think about it I laugh, because Melanie would’ve tried to whip my ass if I ever called her another woman’s name. She has this passion that’s unexplainable…she’s amazing….it’s really something special about her and I let her get away. She really surprised me though the way she handled things with Regina. I was lucky to leave her house that day in one piece, once I was finally able to see her. I really hurt her and I guess she knew it was no need to over react when she had her mind made up that she was done with me. The things in life you wish you could take back.

*******

Today is my birthday which falls on a weekday so I’ll be celebrating it at home with my family and friends. I’ve had a few days before today to celebrate early between touring, but this day belongs to mumma. I did get to finally talk to Tammy. I called her before I was heading to the airport that next day. She was crying on the phone wondering how come it’s so hard for me to feel that way about her. Again I didn’t know what to say, so things still ain’t all that great between us, but she still wants to see me. I agreed to us hooking up because I knew it would be some time before I saw her since I’m currently touring. I told her I’d fly her out when I was in New York since that would work better for me. Hopefully by then I’ll be mentally prepared to be with her.

 

When I came through the door I had so many family members there waiting to wish me a happy birthday it was already party time. I was showered with hugs and kisses I couldn’t even walk through the house, but it felt good to be home. My mom told me I had some gifts and cards that were sent and showed me where she put them. Once things settled down with the family I went to take a look. I noticed I had a birthday card from Melanie. I know her handwriting all too well. Man you would’ve thought I was about to have a heart attack the way my chest was rising and falling from an envelope. Even after everything she still took the time and thought about me for my birthday. I was touched. I noticed right away it had a stamp, but no address on it. That right there hurt. It let me know she really didn’t want her where abouts known, especially to me. I had a seat and opened it. It was just a general card wishing me a Happy Birthday but she did write on it at the bottom.

 

Out of sight doesn’t mean out of mind. You are definitely thought of today. Happy Birthday Tremaine…L<3ve Mel

 

I had to agree. Out of sight didn’t mean out of mind because she damn sure was on mine. I missed her so much. As I looked over the card I swear I could smell her scent right on it. It reminded me of the days when I had her here and it made me miss her even more. The thought of not being able to see or feel her in my arms again, because she’s married just didn’t sit right with me. It still didn’t seem real. Even with so much time going by what we had still weighs heavy on my heart. I know I told her I would respect her marriage, but the truth of the matter is if she came knocking on my door I wouldn’t hesitate to take her and hold and kiss her like I never did before. After seeing that card I needed some air. I grabbed my jacket and was about to head out the door.

 

“Baby where’re you going?”

 

“Mumma I’ll be right back I’m just gonna run to store for a minute. You need me to pick up anything?”

 

“Trey we have all this stuff here. What do you need from the store that’s not here already?” I looked at her, but didn’t say anything. She knew something was on my mind. “Okay but hurry up. You got your family here.”

 

“I will.”

 

I took a ride to the liquor store. On my way out I ran into Meka, Melanies best friend. I gave her a hug.

 

“Happy Birthday! I see you’re ready to celebrate.” I laugh a little.

 

“Oh this just a lil something. I’m not gone really get it in till later.”

 

smiles “I’m sure.”

 

“So how’s Melanie been doing? You talk to her lately?”

 

“Trey you know me and Mel talk all the time; well I guess it’s changed some since she’s been married, but she’s doing good from what I know.”

 

“Yeah? So she’s happy and everything; the marriage is going okay?”

 

“Mmhmm. She said never again will she have to worry about being unhappy. Desean is really good to her.”

 

“Good. I’m glad to hear that. I always wanted her to be happy you know?”

 

“I know. She was happy too when you two were together. She honestly thought you were going to be the only one to steal her heart away.”

 

“Well you can let her know she’s been the only one to steal mine…I guess I better go, gotta houseful of people at the crib.” I gave Meka another hug.

 

“I’ll let her know I saw you.”

 

“Tell her I got her card too and thanks, since I can’t tell her myself.”

 

“I’ll tell her. Bye Trey.”

 

“Later baby.” She starts to walk off. “Aye Meka!” She turns around.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Would you happen to know why she didn’t leave her address on the card she sent me? I mean she’s married so it ain’t like I’m gonna come to her house or anything.”

 

“Nope! Sure don’t. Whelp! I gotta go. Bye Trey!” She turns to leave again, but I grab her arm.

 

“Meka please…tell me if you know.” Her look turns uneasy.

 

“Fine! But it‘s really not a big deal. She just didn‘t want to risk it getting returned in case you moved or something happened with it.”

 

“So are you saying her husband don’t know she sent it?”

 

“Trey like I said it’s really not a big deal so I wouldn’t read too much into that.”

 

“And it didn’t have nothing to do with her not wanting anything to do with me or her still having ill feelings towards me for what happened?”

 

“No Trey. Why would she when she invited you to her wedding? She’s really not upset with you anymore. She left all of that behind when she met Desean. Didn‘t you just get a birthday card from her? She wouldn’t have sent that at all if she still felt some type of way.”

 

She made me smile.

 

“I guess I wasn’t thinking about it that way. It just caught me off guard when I saw it, but thanks for clarifying it for me. That really made my day.”

 

I got in my car and sat there for a minute. I had the card with me. I took it out my jacket pocket and looked at it. I smelled it again. I missed her scent and it was all over it. I also noticed she had a heart shape for the letter o in love when she signed it Love Mel. I miss those little things man. Why does she do this to me? I couldn’t think of any explanation except for it being just another reminder of what I once had and what once was will Never Again be.