Take Your Hand
An Usher Raymond Fiction Story
Written by Syreeta (@Only1ME_Syreeta)
I knew Leslie and Porsha wanted an answer, but I couldn’t make a decision at that moment. I mean what was I supposed to say? I want both of you. I definitely knew that wouldn’t go over well if that came out of my mouth. All I could do was look at the two of them and ask if I could give them an answer after I got back. They both actually agreed to it. I ain’t know what else to say after that. Leslie asked me if I had everything all packed in the car and ready to go. I told her I was straight. Then Porsha tells me don’t leave without my phone and told me where I left it. Man this shit felt strange. I need to get up out of here. This was the first time I felt uncomfortable in my own damn house. I told them I needed to run to the store. Neither one of them budged. Porsha had a nerve to ask me if I wanted her to come with me. Leslie went and had a seat. I couldn’t believe it. I told Porsha that I’d be right back. Then I looked at the both of them. Yeah I was concerned about leaving them alone together. I guess Leslie sensed it.
“Go head to the store Usher. We’ll be fine.” I looked at Porsha.
“I’ma go grab my phone first. A’ight now, I don’t want to come back and find things out of place and broken.” They both smiled. Then Porsha rushed me out.
“Just go and hurry up back.”
As bad as I needed to get out of there for a while to get some air, I still didn’t like the idea of leaving the two of them alone. I could only imagine what they were doing or talking about.
Porsha & Leslie
“So did you just get here this morning too Porsha?”
“Actually I’ve been here since last night.”
“Tell me. Why do you really want to be with Usher?” Porsha didn’t like the fact that she asked her that question plus she didn’t like the tone in her voice when she said it. It turned her off.
“What business is it of yours?”
“No need to get hostile. I was just curious to know if you really cared about him or if it was something else that you were really after.”
“Excuse you! I care about him enough to never just walk out on him and then try to come back like it never happened and everything’s supposed to be hunky-dory.”
“You don’t know the first thing about me and Usher’s relationship and why I left, so don’t sit here and act like you do.”
“And it’s not your place to know if I really care about him or am after something else, whatever that’s supposed to mean. He’s the only one that needs to know why I’m here.”
“Well you can’t care that much about him if you’re okay with him seeing me.”
“Now ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black! HELLO! How long have you known he was seeing me?”
“But the difference between me and you is I don’t want him seeing you or anyone else for that matter. You on the other hand could probably care less who he continues to see as long as he’s screwing you.”
“Now who’s acting like they know someone? You know what the real difference is between me and you Leslie? I don’t expect somebody to do something that’s not in their heart to already do. No! I don’t like the fact that he has a past with you. I don’t like the fact that he has love for you. I also don’t like the fact that he continues to see you, but he’s made his terms clear with me and if I want to be with him I have to respect it or I have the option to go. BECAUSE I love him I don’t expect him to choose. You know why else? Because I know that if I was going to be his choice he would have made it and no other woman would still be in the picture!”
“Honey since when have you known a man to choose a woman if he can get something from both of them and they not have an issue with it? Why would he choose? You may not mind sharing, but I do. I love him and regardless of what you may think about him seeing me, he is and I want him back…completely.”
“I guess you’ll be finding out if those feelings are mutual now won’t you?”
“We both will.”
“You’re right Leslie, but if his decision doesn’t go in your favor are you willing to walk away? I mean, since you don’t like to share and all, because Porsha ain’t going nowhere.”
“One thing I can assure you of is that I won’t be walking away.”
“I guess not, since we know how that turned out the first time.” Leslie smiles.
“And yet in still…puts her arms out…here I stand. If that’s not real love for me, I don’t know what is.”
Porsha didn’t argue with her anymore. What else could she say? She knew for some reason I still was seeing her and what could it have been if it wasn’t real love. When I came in the door I didn’t see anybody, but both cars were still there. I yelled I was back, but still nothing. That really had me wondering what was going on. I didn’t see no blood anywhere and the house wasn’t tore up, so I knew they didn’t fight. Then I thought maybe it happened upstairs. I walked up the steps carefully looking around. I still didn’t see anyone until I got to my bedroom. Porsha was in there. She was laying on the bed looking through a magazine with ear-buds in her ears that was linked to her phone. I got to watch her for a few seconds before she spotted me.
“You’re back!” She closes the magazine, takes the ear-buds out and sits up.
“Yeah. I said that when I came in. Where’s Leslie?”
“You didn’t see her when you came in?”
“I didn’t see anybody when I came in. I came up here to make sure y’all didn’t kill each other and I wouldn’t find no bodies laying around.” She says something underneath her breath.
“Wish I had that pleasure.”
“What you say?”
“Oh nothing. I don’t know where Leslie went off to.”
“Okay what happened?”
“Who said something happened?”
“Girl you think I ain’t been around you long enough to know when something’s bothering you?” She stands up and wraps her arms around me. I put my hands on her hips.
“It’s nothing really.” Then Leslie walks in the room.
“Oh your back.” I take my hands off of Porsha and turn my head Leslie.
“Yeah, I just got back.”
“So what’d you get from the store?”
“I didn’t go. I drove around instead.”
Porsha removed her arms from around me, gathered up the things on the bed and grabbed her purse.
“Usher I’m gonna go ahead and get out of here okay.” I grab her hand.
“I told you already everything is fine.”
“A’ight well I’ma walk you out.”
I noticed how Porsha and Leslie looked at each other when Porsha walked by to leave out the room. I knew something happened between the two of them, but Porsha wasn’t talking. We were outside by her car.
“So when are you flying back home?”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Yes Usher how many times do I have to say it.”
“You got your candy?”
“Of course. That’s the only dick I’m going to have while you’re gone.”
I shook my head smiling. I hold her hands and pull her into me. Then give her a kiss.
“I’ll call you okay?”
“Okay and if you don’t then I’ll know why.” I’m standing here wondering why she said that. She gets in the car and rolls down the window. “You have a safe trip Usher and please do me a favor and let me know that you guys landed safely okay?”
“I really do love you, you know.”
She blows me a kiss and pulls off. It suddenly hit me why she said what she said about calling…my decision. When I walked back in the house Leslie was standing in the foyer.
“Usher can I ask you something?” I walk over to her.
“Yeah. What’s wrong?”
“Do you even want to settle down with me?”
I really wished she wouldn’t have asked me this right now. I looked away from her; just staring in another direction for a minute. Then I finally said something.
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what to do or what to say to that. I’m not sure what to tell you right now Leslie. I’m confused. Look, that’s why I didn’t want to get into any of this until I came back. I really do need to think about things and figure this out.”
“Okay, I understand that. It’s just that the last thing I want to do is make you feel like I’m pressuring you. I know I asked you to think about it, but Usher if it’s something that you weren’t even considering before I said anything than tell me.”
“Leslie it wasn’t something that I thought about, but when you asked me, I did. I have been giving it some thought, but I gotta be honest with you deciding on what to do hasn’t been easy. I know you want me to just Take Your Hand and we pick up where we left off, but it‘s not that simple.”
“That’s not what I want!”
She walks a few steps away from me. I go stand back in front of her. She looks away from me.
“Baby it is what you want.” I touch her chin to turn her head to me. “I know you Leslie. You want things your way when you want it, but I don’t fault you for that. It’s a part of who you are and I love who you are and as much as I love you I can’t sit here and act like Porsha doesn’t matter to me too.”
“So I guess you’ve made your choice?” I rub my hands down the side of her arms.
smiles “No. I didn’t say that. I’m going to take this trip, think about what you asked and the things that I want and be ready to give you an answer when I come back.”
smiles back “So I do have to wait…still.” I joke with her.
“I mean it’s a first time for everything.”
laughs “Yeah, yeah.” She kisses me. “God I love you.”
I hugged her expressionless. “I love you too.”
It feels good to be home. I really did enjoy myself while I was away, but two weeks was too long. At least I felt rejuvenated and my mind was clear. After giving Porsha and Leslie some serious thought along with what I was ready for in my life, I knew what I wanted to do. I surprised myself by actually being able to come to a decision, but I needed too. This was one phone call that I didn’t want to make, but I did it. I mean it wasn’t until I was home for a whole day before I finally made the call, but I did it. I felt bad about it too, but I knew it had to be done. I wanted to talk to her face to face, but she figured from my tone that I would’ve been seeing her only to tell her that she wasn’t the one that I wanted. I hated to let her go, but since I was being honest with myself I knew I couldn’t continue with things the way they were. I was ready for that constant in my life again and I hope she knows that even though I didn’t choose her I will always love and care about her. But now my baby is on the way; the one I did choose and I can’t wait till she gets here, because we got some catching up to do. I’ve been looking out the window frequently to see if she’s here yet, but so far nothing. I laughed at myself for checking so much. I really did miss her and realized that I’m in love with her too. I just so happened to look out the window again and saw the car pulling up.
“Damn it’s about time.” I said as I saw her from the curtains. As soon as she got up to the door I was there to open it.
“Hey!” She jumps up on me wrapping her legs around me as she hugs me. Man when she did that, I knew I was home. I looked her in the eyes then planted a mean and nasty kiss on her.
*If you’re thinking he chose Porsha you’re right. Sometimes in life things may or may not turn out the way you expect it to be, but how it was supposed to be; for whatever the reason. Be careful of what you ask for. You just might get it, even if it’s not the way you intended to have it.*