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Archive for January, 2015

Yes No Maybe

Sunday, January 4th, 2015

A Trey Songz Story

Written by Syreeta (@Only1MeSyreeta)

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The early years…

Trey and I were up in my bedroom still having a heated discussion about some chick I saw him talking to at the party we just left.

“WHAT WAS SHE DOING TOUCHING YOUR FACE?”

He’s comfortably lying across the bed on his stomach, face lying flat and arms dangling over the edge with his eyes shut.

“She didn’t touch my face. You just seein’ things.”

I cross my arms and narrow my eyes. I know what I saw. He was not going to pull this shit again.

“You’re lyin’! She had both hands on the sides of your face smiling like she was going to kiss you. I can’t even go to the bathroom without ya ass flirtin’ n’shit. You keep it up it’s really over.”

“Let it be over then!”

“You would say that. You don’t really care about me anyway or else you wouldn’t have cheated. I should’ve let it stay over then.”

“Now we back on that again. You know I care. I’m here aren’t I?”

“Yeah! Being an ass! I honestly wouldn’t care if you weren’t.” I say spitefully.

He didn’t like that and gets up from the bed and yolks me up like a rag doll.

“So why I’m here now then? Huh?”

I suddenly begin to cry while trying to pry his hands away.

“GET AWFFF!! LEMME GO!!!”

Kosha walks by the bedroom and sees us since the door was open.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Trey lets go of me. “Carmen are you okay?”

“I’m fine. He was just leaving.”

“I was?” He asks me. I look away from him and say nothing. “I guess I’m leavin’ then.”

“Carmen are you going to be alright,” asks Kosha.

“She gone be fine,” says Trey irritated. “Can you excuse us doe? I’m not done talkin’ to her yet.”

Kosha hesitates.

“I’ll be in my room with my cell phone close. You may not call the cops on his ass, but I sure will.”

She takes her time walking out. Trey slams the door behind her. “Fuck her! So you really don’t want me to stay here tonight?”

“I want you to act right, but what I want and what I get never seems to match up.”

“Ar’ight, so that girl did have her hands on my face. She did it so fast I didn’t have no time to react before you saw her. It was innocent doe. I wasn’t goin’ to let her do nothin’ to me… plus she saw who my baby is… right,” he says smiling and taking my hands holding them. I wasn’t amused.

“I’m tired Trey. I need to lay down. ALONE!”

“Ar’ight! I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Don’t bother.”

“WHAT?”

“…”

“You said don’t bother…smiles You talkin’ out ya ass right now girl. I on’t know why you tryna play hard anyway, but it’s cool. I know you love me.”

Then he leaves.

 

3 weeks later

 

“Carmen this nigga sitting outside in his car. He’s really waiting for you to leave.”

I walk over and peek out my bedroom window.

“He has a lot of nerve.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Nothing. We’re still going out. I don’t care if he’s outside. His ass can stay out there all night for all I care.”

“You know good and well you don’t mean that shit. You gone be lucky to make it out of here tonight at this rate. You always let him talk you out of us doing something.”

“That just depends on what’s going on.”

“It shouldn’t matter. If we have plans you need to keep them. Not diss ya friends because he’s being a jackass.”

“My baby is not a jackass. He just loves him some Carmen.”

“More like obsessed. I keep telling you to leave his ass alone, but you just won’t listen.”

“Are you ready or what?”

I got mad. I wasn’t trying to hear her shit any longer. She says it all the time since I’ve been staying with her. Trey is not all that bad and I’m tired of her talking about my man. Yes he has his issues, but what guy doesn’t. He’s just the over-protective type when it comes to who he loves. I thought we were getting better about things like this, but I guess that’s what I get for thinking. I’ll have to talk to him again, but not tonight. He wasn’t changing my mind this time.

“Come on. Let’s go,” I say.

We go downstairs and out of the house. As soon as I’m locking the door Trey gets out of his car. I take a deep breath once I turn and see him coming towards me. He was in all black even down to his Timbs. He knew I loved when he wore black.

“I’ll be waiting for you in the car,” says Kosha. She walks by Trey and rolls her eyes at him.

“Hello to you too Kosha,” he says with a chuckle afterwards.

I fold my arms, a nervous habit.

“Trey what is it? You know I’m about to go.”

“So you still gone go out after I asked you not too,” he asks, looking me up and down.

“Why shouldn’t I go? You go out all the time, but every time it comes to me you wanna trip.”

“Cause you gimme a reason every time. Like now. Why you wearin’ dat shit? You got other dresses you could’ve put on.”

“It was a gift from Kosha.”

“You know I on’t like you livin’ wit dat girl in the first place. She a bad influence on you. Always fillin’ ya head wit bullshit.”

“Like your friends are any better? Look I don’t have time for this. I gotta go.”

I walk away from him brushing past. He pulls my arm yanking me back.

“What I tell you about just walkin’ away from me like dat when I’m not done?”

“Trey! Please don’t do this right now… OW… you’re hurting my arm.” I say, as I wiggle it out of his grasp.

“Don’t let me hear no bullshit done happened witchu and another nigga tonight. Cause you know I’mma be on dat ass.”

I tried to make the moment lighter so he could just let me leave peacefully without us arguing any further.

“Now why would I want another nigga when I have you,” I say with a gentle smile. Then I kiss him. “I’ll talk to youtomorrow. Love you!”

I start to walk off until he said something else.

“Yo! Unlock ya door.”

I turn back to face him. That threw me off because one, he has a key that he refuses to give back. Kosha never lets me live that down either, and two, if he does still have it why didn’t he just use it?

“Why?” I ask.

“Cause I’m just gone chill here tonight.” I didn’t want him to get mad again or cause another argument, so I just unlocked the door. “I’ll be waitin’ up for you too,” he says before he goes in.

I go get in the car finally with Kosha.

“Sorry.”

“He’s staying over?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought you wasn’t going to let him do that for a while because of the fight you guys had before?”

“I just did it so he wouldn’t make matters worse about me leaving tonight; thinking I don’t want him there because I’m messing around.”

“You kinda are. What does Davion think about all of this?”

“He understands. He’s only my friend anyway, so I’m not messing around.”

“Let Trey find out about this friend. Your ass is grass.”

“There’s nothing to find out. We just talk to each other from time to time.”

“He’s going to be at this party tonight isn’t he?”

“So! A lot of people are going to be there.”

“Trey’s not, and Davion is. At least you hope Trey won’t show up.”

“He doesn’t know the location… I didn’t tell him.”

“And you know why you didn’t tell him,” she reasons. She shakes her head at me while she’s driving. “Alright. You keep playing with fire. That boy is gonna really flip on yo’ ass one day. I’m telling you. Leave him alone. NOW!”

“Will you let me live my life please?” I say annoyed.

“That’s all I’ve been trying to do so that you can LIVE your life. But I won’t say any more about it.” She turns the music up in the car. “AAYYEEE! We gonna get in here and turn up right?”

“Right! Nothing but a good time tonight.”

I didn’t make it in the house till three in the morning and yes I did have a nice time. Kosha stayed out since Trey was there. She said she hope all hell doesn’t break loose if he somehow finds out about my time spent with Davion. It was a group of us hanging together and Davion was a part of it yes, but no one can say I was alone with him, because I wasn’t. THAT I made sure of. When I got in the house Trey was up, waiting on the couch in the living room with the T.V. on. His forearms was resting on his legs as he leaned like he was into the T.V. He was still fully clothed and everything. I walk over to him and stand on the side of him as he sat on the couch.

“Baby you been waiting up for me all this time?” He tilts his head to the side with his eyes cut like I said something stupid. “What’s wrong?” He grabs my dress pulling me down on the couch and leans on me.”

“Fuck you doin’ comin’ in here at this time when you knew I was here waitin’?”

“You wanted to be here. I didn’t ask you to stay,” I say in a frantic.

“Exactly why you should’ve brought yo’ ass home sooner.” I was so sick of his controlling and possessive ways, which did it for me. I pushed him off of me real hard and got up. “FUCKS WRONG WITCHU GIRL,” he yells.

“GET THE FUCK OUT! YOU”RE NOT GOING TO BE PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON ME DAMNIT!”

“I’M NOT GOING NOWHERE TILL I’M FUCKIN’ READY,” he snarls back.

“I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE. IT’S OVER!”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!”

“THEN LEAVE!” I yell, pointing to the door.

“I’ll leave when I’m damn ready to leave. Fuck is you? Whatchu gotta nigga all up in ya head feedin’ you lies and bullshit too? You think he better than me now so you got balls to tell me it’s over? Is that it?” He says with a sudden adjust in attitude.

I walk over to the door and open it.

“Get out!”

He stands there for a second staring at me. Then he comes over and looks down on me.

“I don’t need ya ass anyway, but tell me somethin’ Carmen, where da fuck would you be without me huh? I make dat ass…you have nothin’ without me… remember dat. I’m out!”

“Can I have my key back please,” I ask stern as he walks past.

“FUCK NO!” He yells, while he keeps on walking. He gets in his car and drives off. I slammed the door. I was heated with him and really felt like this time I was done with him.

*******

It really surprised me that I hadn’t heard from Trey in over a week. He hadn’t contacted me and I hadn’t contacted him. Kosha was happy it was over, but not convinced. Trey and I have been through this once before when he cheated on me. Truthfully I’m fed up with it though. All we do is fight and argue it seems. I know a lot of that has to do with me. I don’t trust him like I use to ever since he cheated. And since he’s cheated he thinks that I’m going to turn around and do the same thing to him. I love him, and yes, I’ve thought about cheating a lot, because of the way he treats me sometimes, but I haven’t.

I do like Davion. It’s not the same with him. His concern for me is different than Trey’s. All Trey thinks about is who I was talking to today. Who’s on the other line if I don’t answer his call fast enough. I know he thinks he means well, but that shit drives me crazy. Davion cares about how my day is going. Sends me text messages to let me know he’s thinking of me. Checks up on me to see if I need anything. All the things Trey use to make sure was taken care of so I’d feel appreciated. I’m starting to just feel like his possession now. I keep hoping he’ll change so I give him a chance to see, but not this time.

*******

I’ve been spending more time with Davion since Trey and I broke up. It’s been three months now since we’ve separated. We’ve bumped into each other a few times. It was just a hi and bye situation at first. But then I would continuously see him with a different bitch. That pissed me off. So the last time I saw him with a female I cussed his ass out. I was mad because he had the nerve to be tripping about not hearing from me and yet had three different bitches in his face. I told him to kiss my ass. Then there was a time after that when we ran into each other, but Davion was with me and he was alone. The look on his face was priceless. He didn’t like seeing that shit not one bit. He pulled me over to the side wanting to ask me some questions.

“Who da fuck is that?”

“Have I questioned you about the different bitches I done saw you with?”

“He ya man now?”

“Trey go head somewhere.”

“You fuckin’ ‘em?”

“Why do you care?”

“Why wouldn’t I care? I don’t even know why things is like this in the first place. What I do?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“Okay maybe I’m the blame for some shit, but you punished me long enough. Baby I been goin’ crazy wit out you.”

“This is not a punishment Trey. It’s over! And you couldn’t have been going that crazy without me when you’ve had plenty of women to keep you company I see.”

“But I want ya company. I love you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it. I have to go. As you can see I’m out with someone.”

I left him standing there. That really ticked him off. He yells.

“Fuck it! I ain’t really trippin’ if you ain’t tryna come back. Fuck dat! You can stay where ever you at. It’s all good.”

I yell in the distance.

“Gladly!”

Says under his breath “fuck you and dat punk ass nigga.” Then he yells again. “I HOPE HE FUCK UP TOO.”

I started bagging up afterwards. I thought his jealousy was so cute. Ever since that day he’s been calling me lately. I mean really blowing up my phone. He wants us to talk, so I finally told him I would come see him tonight and hear what else he has to say. I do miss him.

When I got to Trey’s he was out in his yard with some steaks on the grill. I noticed a colorful tossed salad in a bowl covered. It looked like some corn was grilling too. I sat down on the lawn furniture and watched him tend to the meat.

“This pretty ain’t it,” he asks holding up the steak showing me the grill marks.

“Looking good,” I humorously reply.

“So what’s up witchu?” he asks as he takes a seat beside me.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t seem like it’s been nothin’ to me.”

“I thought you wanted to talk Trey.”

“Ar’ight! It’s like this. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been actin’ towards you and treatin’ you lately. I know I been mad crazy and trippin’ bout shit, but I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be thinkin’ just because I fucked up that you gone do me the same way.”

“What about when you get mad Trey and let your temper get the best of you? I’m tired of us fighting.”

“That’s gone stop.”

“You mean it?”

“Every word, and I’mma start showin’ you too, and lettin’ you see that I trust you.”

He puts his hand out and I grab it while getting up. I sit on his lap. He wraps his arms around me.

“Baby I miss you. I want you back.”

“Did you fuck those girls Trey?”

“WHAT?” He says like it’s a preposterous question.

“Did you? Tell me the truth.”

“NO! I didn’t.”

“You better not had.”

“Why we even talkin’ bout them. I got who I wanna fuck right here.” Then he cups my pussy. “You ain’t give my shit away did you?”

“No.”

“You know this gone always be mine right?” He says giving it a few squeezes. I didn’t say anything. “Right?” he asks again.

I respond with a smile.

“Right Trey.”

He kisses me then pats my leg letting me know he needed to get up. He checked on the food. Once all of it was prepared we had a very nice dinner out in the yard. We laughed and not once did we argue. Then we went up to his room and made up for lost time. I swear he knows how to keep me falling for him. He always convinces me of how much he loves me when we’re in the bedroom. He was on top making love to me. I had my legs spread, but my feet was clasped around his calves. My hands was cupping his ass and I was squeezing my pussy all on his dick taking him in as far as I could as he stroked. I missed having his plug in my socket. Talk about electricity. He was hitting it so good I was definitely ignited, moaning extra loud when suddenly his doorbell rings. He stops pumping. I notice he has this strange look on his face.

“Babe who’s that?”

“… I on’t know, but they’ll leave,” he finally manages to say.

He goes back to fucking me. It chimes again. He didn’t stop this time. He kept on stroking and I kept grinding till I couldn’t take the noise anymore.

“Trey! It doesn’t seem like whoever it is, is going away. WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?”

He starts kissing me obviously to shut me up while he still continues to stroke.

DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG…

Shit wouldn’t stop.

“FUCK! He hissed. “Stay right up here. I’ll be back.

Fuck if I was staying right there. He had already gone to get the door. I wanted to see what all this urgency was so I put on one of his shirts. As I was buttoning it I heard a female’s voice and she was angry. I walked right down those steps wanting to see this bitch. Trey was in the doorway while she was standing outside. He was telling her to leave. Apparently she was mad at him because I was there. How she knew my car, I had no clue, but this bitch was about to really know about Carmen.

“Is there a problem here?” I ask cocky, peeking over Trey’s shoulder since he was blocking the door.

“Carmen gone back upstairs. I got this.”

“So you back wit her now,” the chick asks. She looks at me since I didn’t move. “Hope you know he’s been all up in this pussy bitch!”

“BITCH? WHO YOU…”

I was snapping. I tried to hit her as soon as I heard the word bitch even with Trey blocking the door, but I couldn’t. I wanted her ugly ass. I don’t know why he was trying to reason with her in the first place.

“YO! Get the fuck away from my house wit dat nonsense man. Not havin’ this shit!”

Trey shuts his door on her. She was still out there talking trash. I wanted to come out there so badly, but he kept holding me back till she finally left. I went upstairs to start dressing. Trey follows me to the room and stands in his doorway.

“I hope you don’t believe dat girl…”

“I do believe her. She was way too upset to be lying.”

“That was the point. Carmen I swear I didn’t fuck dat girl.”

“And why should I believe you? You’ve cheated on me before and lied about it, when to this day I know I would’ve never found out if your butt hadn’t dialed my number, and I…shakes head… I’m not even going to get into that. Just know that was one of the worst days of my life.”

“How long you gone make me pay for dat when you know I’m tryin’. And why you so quick to believe other people over me?”

“NEED YOU ASK?”

“Why da fuck you hollerin’?”

“BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT YOU MAKE ME DO!”

“Look, we was just fine before she came here causin’ shit. Can you stop gettin’ dress and just talk to me without yellin’?”

I had just found my bra and was sitting on the bed putting it on when Trey throws his body on top of me making me fall back. I was so upset because I loved him so much, but sometimes he treated me like shit, but always claim to love me.

“MOVE TREY! I’M NOT PLAYING!”

“Nah, you not leavin’.”

“I don’t even know why I believed you then. All you do is lie to me.”

“I’m not lyin’ this time doe, she is. Just for you to get mad like you are now and let her win.”

“What is she doing just coming over here then?”

“Shit I on’t know. I didn’t invite her ass over.”

“But you have before obviously.”

“Look, she did come over here once. We stayed in the livin’ room. Then once I noticed her breath wasn’t right I already knew I wasn’t fuckin’ ‘round.”

“You are such a liar. Just shut up!”

I squirm around trying to get up, but he kept me pinned down.

“I’m serious. We chilled for a minute and then I told her I had something to do.”

“So you would’ve fucked her if she didn’t have bad breath?”

“Yeah.”

I kept hitting him continuously in his back.”

“MOVE! I ain’t fooling with you. You can’t be trusted. I’m just wasting my time with you!”

He was so calm while he laid on me just holding me. He didn’t even react to my hitting him like that till I stopped.

“You really can’t be mad at me doe. You left me, or did you forget dat. Now all I’m doing is being honest witchu. You know them girls don’t mean shit to me. Nobody else will ever mean as much to me than you do. Baby I love YOU!” He stressed. He strokes my face as his eyes trail all over it. “You believe me don’t you?”

I really didn’t know what to think. He was so good at lying to me and convincing me to see things his way.

“Yes… no… maybe…”

I was confused.

“Baby believe me,” he says sincerely.

“You always making me promises Trey and never keeping them. Why can’t you just be honest?”

He continues to stroke my face wiping the tears away that started to fall.

“I am gonna be honest witchu.” He lays his head on my chest. “I have so much love for you that I get afraid sometimes. I don’t wanna lose you baby,” he says giving my shoulders a squeeze.

“Sometimes I don’t think you really care about losing me Trey. I think you always believe that I’m gonna end up coming back.”

He lifts his head up quick to look at me.

“Nooo… nooo… baby I don’t feel that way at all. I just be talkin’ shit, but I don’t be meanin’ none of it. Without you I have a lot to lose. Why you think I keep comin’ back?”

“Then you need to change Trey, cause I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Us fighting and you lying and cheating on me is not showing me that you love me.”

sighs “I know my actions haven’t been the best, but baby I love you more than anything. My love for you ain’t goin’ nowhere. I promise you.”

There have never been any truer words spoken from him to me than those. I’ve never been able to get out of this relationship with Trey ever since. I use to think his jealousy was cute. Thought if I gave him another chance he would change. Thought this need he has for me was love, but that’s not love. It’s a dangerous obsession, which has landed me in my current situation with him years later…

Present day

“I got something for you baby. I promise you’ll never walk out on me again.”

I curiously look back at him. He points me in the direction of this circular gadget on the ceiling.

You see that up there? It’s a camera…whispers…I gotchu baby…I gotchu!”

I still didn’t understand. Then he directed my eyes to a gun that was sitting on the dresser with a pair of black leather gloves beside it. I never even noticed it. I realized I made a big mistake. He squeezed me close again and started to sing that same tune as he did on my phone before.

“Just meeee 4U.”

It’s only one way that I’ll ever be able to leave him again. Death! There’s no Yes No Maybe about it in his mind. I’m terrified now, and don’t know how to leave… I need help…

 

*PSA Domestic violence of any kind is not okay. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise or make you feel like their violence is deserved. If you or anyone you know is experiencing Domestic violence please know that there’s help. Call the National Domestic Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. Get help. Get out.